Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want!

I wanted to wow you with four more artists work today. Apparently my memory stick has other ideas. I'm working on the problem but I am suffering from the above today. I spent the night engaging in pointless anxiety thoughts which managed to wile away the hours when I should have been asleep. This has now resulted in a 'Brain Vacation' today. I have struggled to concentrate on even the most basic of tasks. I drove to Bournemouth today and at least 6 times during that short drive I thought to myself 'I'm not really paying attention' how worrying is that?
Not only is my head just about to put 'For Rent' signs up but my eyes are so tired I look like I've been over indulging in illicit substances.
On a brighter note I got my haircut today which required absolutely no thought on my behalf. Ross @ Maximum in Boscombe did a great job. Cut a cool pattern in my hair. Something I've always thought I might like but never done. If I could take a half way decent picture of myself I'd show you.

Gallery news, I have started to get a few more responses from my artist friends. Phew! The supremely skilled Rob Marshall is coming over next week. I cannot wait to show you his work. He's a glass artist and makes objects of beauty. He's bringing me pictures next week so you'll get to see them. For some reason I do not fully understand my blog wont let me put this in a sensible place.  having just looked at a preview it doesn't actually look too bad. Here is my finished logo design. I love it. For those of you in the know you might recognise the cogs and wheel as belonging to an etching press. It's my actual writing, I had to write it several times before I did one that worked. A very big thank you to Neil@Deshok. I cannot recommend him highly enough if you need this kind of work done. Or absolutely anything Website, he's your man.
I'm going to try and resolve my memory stick issue and if my errant brain decides to come back in the next couple of hours, I will endeavour to introduce you to some more very talented peoples work.

Introducing the talented........

          

           Charlotte Blake

           

          Paul Watts

         

Dave Field

Milo Newman

All I'm going to say is that if Blogspot incorporated some Mac technology putting these pictures on my blog would have been so much easier. Here are just four of the artists that will be exhibiting at the gallery. There are many more but you must remember they are artists and my frequent requests for images is always met with 'I'll get on the case, and email you tomorrow'. This means that they will get to me eventually but you know the Elvis song 'Tomorrow Never Comes' well I believe that was prophetic.

I should clarify that although Charlottes work looks 2D it is actually 3D. It's quirky and I think it's funny too. She works in ceramics and the images are applied by transfers that she makes herself. Paul is an illustrator who combines a variety of techniques to produce his unique images. Dave is also an illustrator who integrates his love of drawing with keen eye for graphic detail.

Milo travels extensively and produces photographs that have a poetic beauty. I'm hoping to give him a one man show next year. His new project sounds like it's going to have multi sensory appeal so I'm very excited about that.
You wouldn't know this unless I told you but this blog has taken 3 hours to write. I had to go and take collection of a job lot of glass bricks at the gallery. I can't wait for the wall to be finished. That was as much as I achieved at the gallery today. But I have been busy online finding out about getting a license to show films. It's not too expensive about £100 a year so I think I'm going to get one. So if you live locally and like foreign film or Arthouse film and more importantly want to help to support various charities. I intend to run intimate screenings for free but everyone will have to donate a bit of cash to charity. I will support any worthy causes and will also be up for anyone suggesting some.
I will feature another four artists tomorrow. I hope that you have liked what you have seen so far.

These Things Take Time - Thanks Morrissey

The first thing I should tell you is that my hand is on the mend. The pain has all but subsided just the occasional twinge. I'm still not going to go crazy at the gallery until the twinge is no more. So for the next few days I'm going to make like a snail and take it slow and steady.
I am at a loss as not only is my right hand not fully functioning but my right hand man has left me too. He's working else where for the next few weeks. There is now a natural break in proceedings which will give me some time to focus on the admin side.
I was at the gallery for 7 whole minutes today. Admittedly, there is very little I can do with my troublesome phalanges. I worked from home and managed to complete a few jobs that I'd started and managed to cook a rather delicious curry.
If you've been following my blog you will know that me and numbers are not a match made in heaven. I struggle at best and at worst I just make it up. But, as I'm going to be ordering my sign(s) I need to be as accurate as possible. Eeeek!!!!
I made another discovery yesterday, I definitely prefer to be doing manual labour as opposed to sedentary computer squatting! I had work envy yesterday as Matt worked, I tapped away on my laptop getting colder by the minute. Whilst, Matt stripped off due to over heating.
No-one commented about who was the most deserving recipient of the 'End of Work Pint' but I'm guessing the silent majority all voted Matt over me.
I'm going to be collating the images of the artists work that I intend to feature tomorrow. My plan is to create a very visual blog to give you all a taste of what will be going into L'Artishe Gallery.
Apparently, according to my Horrorscope (sic) which I don't really believe but can't help reading anyway, I know I'm not the only one who does that. It said that I should start writing my own book instead of reading other peoples. As if I haven't got enough to do already. Oh, a holiday romance is also on the horizon. I have romantic notions of holidays and sunshine does that count?
Admin, Admin, Admin is what I'm going to be doing tomorrow so if I am uninspired in my blog writing please forgive me.

It was a day of two halves!

It's true! Even if your hand has given up the ghost and all manual labour is out of the window.....it is up to you to use your time productively. So here's a breakdown of what I did today and what Matt did today. You can make up your own minds as to who deserved a pint at the end of the day.
Me: Overslept until 9.15
Matt: Rudely awaken at 8.10 by Travis Perkins
Me: Contemplated getting up for at least 10 minutes
Matt: Told he needed to be at the gallery in 10 minutes to take delivery of 32 sheets of plaster board and 70ish bits of big skinny wood. I hope you will all appreciate that I used the correct technical terms.
Me: Flex my hand several times to test how much it hurts.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Text Matt to find out if delivery has arrived and make coffee and have breakfast.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Have a shower and make the foolish decision to wash my hair with my faulty hand. Big mistake. As I can't dry it as I can't hold hairdryer or brush.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Reply to Matts text saying I'll be there v. soon.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Pick up wrong screws, swap for right screws, feel guilty because Matt has hefted 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood, before I'd even left the house.
Matt: Waits for me and probably does several jobs that I don't even realise while I swap the screws.
Me: Get back and moan about my cack hand whilst Matt works.
Matt: Smiles politely and carries on working.
Me: Set up broadband!! Hurray, it's so simple when you READ THE BLOODY INSTRUCTIONS!!!!
Matt: Humours me when I do the Victory Dance
Me: Go out and buy Guilt Appeasers for Matt in the shape of Quavers, Iced Fingers, Coffee and Coke.
Matt: Willingly receives my gifts.
Me: Spent too long on the Internet, buy wrong drill bit then go back and get the right drill bit that was very expensive. :(
Matt: Works really hard ad infinitum!
Me: Fill my time drawing glasses into the whited out windows.
Now you have heard the two outcomes who do you think deserved the reward of a pint at the end of the day?
 

All Pain, No Gain

I have hurt myself!!! I'm not exactly sure how but today I can hardly move my right hand. It sucks. As I am now one finger typing this it will be a short blog. I have managed to achieve very little today. I couldn't even cut my own roast potato on my roast dinner. I was reminded that it was a taste of things to come as I am getting old. I'm frowning as I write this. I am hoping that tomorrow my hand improves so that I will be able to do something other than hang my hand uselessly by my side. I'm self medicating and it should make the evening a little more interesting.
This is my one finger signing off. I know you love all of my little known facts. I am more prone to spelling mistakes when typing with one finger. If I was lazier this would have been a far funnier read as I've misspelt every second word. Dho!!!

Dusty Springclean has left the building!

This is a request. As Patrick Stewart says in Star Trek ' Make it so '. It is so incredibly dusty at the gallery that the dust mites are o.ding and have set up rehab units in every corner. Are you getting the picture yet? It is dust o'clock at L'Artishe Gallery and Studio. I went in there today to start the big clean up after the magnificent floor laying of yesterday. Everything had at least 2mm of dust on it. So I donned my super sexy dust mask. I would put a picture of me wearing it on here but I don't want anyone to get over stimulated, by the vision in dirty jeans and an oversized filthy t-shirt that was me. I'm sorry I've already said too much.

I wiped and I swept and I swept and I wiped. That's about the sum total of my I did at the gallery today. That's not to say that it didn't look a hundred times better when I'd finished because it did.

In order not to incriminate anybody all I'm going to say is ' That'll take 5 minutes ' is another one of lifes' big fat lies. Unless you've done the exact same job before, in the same place, on the same day, for the same person when the planets are aligned in the same way can you make such a statement. I also know about the  Jamaican ' Soon Come ' and the Swanage ' Minute ' and a teenagers ' I'll be there in 5 ' these are all ways of distracting us from the truth.  You cannot accurately guess the time any given job will take you, so err on the side of exaggeration. If you think it could take you 5 minutes say it will take you 15 minutes then at least everyone's happy if you beat your estimated deadline. Here endeth the lesson for today.

I'm not setting foot in the gallery tomorrow, I'm waiting for the dust to settle. I'm not going back until Monday when I'm hoping Travis Perkins have extricated a certain part of their anatomy from another part of their anatomy and deliver the goods I've already paid for. I hope so because Matt will be able to start the walls and I'll start ' The Battle of the Broadband ' and other severely irritating jobs. So enjoy the rest of your evening, or day depending on when you read this.

When is a Bike Shop not a Bike Shop? When it's a Gallery!

The first thing you should know is that I'm over doing todays blog already! The format has changed and putting pictures on is painful. Whinge, moan, whinge, moan! The first picture is of my newly laminated office. It was a team effort, Matt provided the brains, Lisa and myself provided the wiggle. Between us we laid the floor. Wiggling is a technical term when laminating.
It took us 5 hours and we only made a few major blunders. I am now fairly convinced that the person who put down my poorly laid laminate floor, at home, needs some further tuition. A great big thanks to Matt and Lisa for working through their shattiness to achieve a beautiful finished floor.
I told you about my friendly neighbour who wanted to make ' a drama out of a staircase'. You will now need to know what happened next in ' Windowenders'  Not only do I have to frost the windows but I am not 'allowed' to open the window, because of the noise.
What NOISE?? I grant you we are making a Hell of a racket at the moment because we are renovating the space but when we are done, I'll be keeping the raving to the bare minimum. Tha' lady she loco loco!!
Someone should tell her that I am well known for my rebellious streak and if you say I can't, I blatantly will. Bring it on!
The other picture is of the front of MY gallery. Look, no sign. It's official, it's a gallery not a bike shop.
The walls are going up on Monday so I need to get on a get the ceiling ordered. I am so ahead of schedule that it is looking likely that I will be open before Christmas. I'm very excited about that. So all the artists who keep promising to get me pictures of their work to me...........Now is the time.
I'm going to be at the gallery tomorrow I'll be clearing the decks, ready for Matt to get started on Monday.
I'm sorry if my blog has been short on laughs today but I'm shattered and my funny bone is bruised and won't work properly!
Until tomorrow.......