Home Is Where The Art Is

If you are an artist, a lover of art then I hope that I can inspire you to do what you love.

Sunday, 31 October 2010

Making Ideas Real

I've always been an ideas person. I have at least three or four a day that I am convinced are brilliant. This is probably (definitely) not the case. But I aspire to think outside the box and let my creativity flow. In theory this sounds great, but in practise it means that I want to do so many things that I cannot really do any of them as I am already fully invested in doing something else. I don't understand boredom (other than in the workplace if you're unlucky). I can potter from dawn 'til dusk and still not touch upon many of my ideas.  I am resolved to not let myself be seduced by the 32" temptress that lives in the lounge. So many hours are stolen from me, I say stolen because the seduction is so effective that I don't notice the thief of time stealing my precious hours.
I recently visited a friend who hasn't got a television and she is a domestic goddess and mother to three lovely toddlers. I felt positively slovenly, I come home from the gallery make dinner and switch on the silver screened devil and write my blog at some point. I now think if I invested even a portion of that time to developing one of my less outlandish ideas who knows what would happen.
I am going to do it and see what happens.
I have mentioned that I have a busy week at the gallery as it's time to tie up all the loose ends. Matt has got a few more chores. It'll be all hands on deck as we enter the final phase of renovation. I'll do another virtual tour tomorrow so you can the developments since the last time.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Everything's Just Peachy!

Doing so much D.I.Y comes at a price. Firstly, there's the whole perpetual painty hands, dirty nails, annoying cuts which are small but painful all of this is swiftly followed by achey hands. Then there's the numerous bruises. I have skin like a ripe peach, (that's a lovely bit of imagery for you) unfortunately not in the smooth and firm way. In the touch me and I'll bruise way. It's a curse as I also have a weird illness that interferes with my spatial awareness which means I'm constantly walking into door frames, corners etc. This coupled with my recent epic D.I.Y mission has meant that I am covered in bruises from head to toe. Just kneeling on a solid floor bruises my knees, I am currently sporting the same kind of bruises I got as a child when I tried to get involved in group skipping activities. The ones where a catchy ditty is sung and you have to run in and start skipping immediately. I was rubbish at those, multitasking may be a skill I have now acquired but as a child singing and skipping was beyond me.
I had to go to the gallery today as my plasterer was coming to look at the walls so I thought I might as well make myself useful. I painted my door, the step and the new frame. I also cleaned everything down as Matt had generously provided me a nice thick coating of dust. With friends like that......
The thing I was most excited about and most scared about at the same time was my glass brick wall. I had the grand unveiling today. I thought it might fall down as soon as I removed the supporting board but wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles it stayed up and it looks great.

I just have to do the other side and then it will be all finished. I've got a busy week ahead as I need to get all the tidying up jobs done so that the office and workshop are completely finished. I will write myself a list of things to do and carry on as normal.
I hope you're all having a great weekend. I'm going to a fancy dress Halloween Party and I'm guessing it's about time I thought about my costume.

Friday, 29 October 2010

Panic on The Streets of Swanage

I'm starting to get used to being responsible for two premises, but only just. I often wake up late at night with a rapid heartbeat and sweaty hands, and the thought that dominates my mind is 'Did I remember to lock the door?' This happens with my car too so I think that the minute I'm responsible for anything, I need to have panic attacks about them.
I have been doing my admin again today so it means that I am sat clickety clicking on my laptop. I am trying to go on a spending go slow as I have spent soooooooo much in the last two weeks that I am having panic attacks about that too. But spending is a necessary evil if I ever intend to get the gallery open and half as cool as I want it to be.
This means that I research everything to the nth degree as I want to get it at the best possible price. I'm sure that there are other people out there who do the same. If you are one of them, I can empathise with the tedium that you go through and the jubilation that you feel when you save a couple of pounds or get a total bargain.
I have got to go shopping for guess what? Starts with a P and ends with a T. Matt has revealed that under my the carpet on what I am calling my 3D stage there's a lovely wooden floor. It needs a little bit of work but with that and a lick of paint I think it's going to look great.
I have decided that I much prefer wood to carpet but at the moment it's all I can afford. I am going to have to find a carpet fitter that doesn't want to fleece me or lay a carpet as good as I can. Which is code for 'really badly'.
The more I am a business owner the more I think that I don't like people, more precisely business people. They are on my case everyday trying to get money out of me. I told a woman yesterday who was trying to sell me something that I had 27p in my bank account, she said 'that's 27p more than me, and the advertising space I'm trying to sell you is at a very reasonable rate'. What do you say to someone like that? Give her the dial tone is what you do!
I also think that I am going to work my way backwards from 'you're lying and I don't trust you' to get to the truth behind the lies. It's a dog eat dog world and I'm a borderline vegetarian, so this canine carnivorous diet is giving me a metaphorical stomach ache.
I am going to go and buy some paint and I will let you guess the rest.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Make Mine A Double!

Later than I wanted but that's the way my life is. I am going to get my blog written. If you are a Facebook user you may have seen the Autism Quiz? Well I have often thought that I must be on the spectrum as I have taught many people that are and I can see the similarities. So the test was an absolute must for me and surprise, surprise I am probably on the tail end of the spectrum. I always thought as much. I arrived at the gallery this morning (late because I overslept) and the first thing Matt said to me was 'I'm more autistic than you'. I told him that I thought he probably was because I could see the traits. I'm sure that's why we get on because we would rather go to a museum than the theatre.
The picture on my blog is by my friend Maria's, it is a painting not a photograph. I'm very impressed. I mentioned before that she's going to have her own show at the gallery. I am looking forward to it.
At the gallery I now have a new fire door and with some instruction and guidance a new glass brick wall. I did the latter. I have only just finished picking off the Grip Fill from my fingertips. For those of you who remember your art classes, when you painted your hands with PVA glue then painstakingly tried to remove it in one piece.....You would love Grip Fill same experience with the added bonus of being fairly toxic and very capable of making your head a little fuzzy at the same time.
I have got to paint my new fire door tomorrow, well at least give it an undercoat. I'm still recovering from my whole 10 counties in two days experience.
I'm going to show you the print that I did on Saturday just so you can see it really. I don't think it's the best thing I've ever done but it's the thing I've actually done which at this stage is more important.

I'm going to rework the small skull using Drypopint, so it's intentionally pale. Anyway, I've managed to do at least 1/3 of what I want to show you. So better luck tomorrow when I get home at a reasonable time.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Doesn't that Pheasant Look Unpleasant?

I know I promised you a really visual blog today but I just can't do it. I have literally just walked in after a 6.5 hour drive. I feel duty bound to write but uploading images and getting them uploaded to my blog is just a job too far. 700 miles round trip.
I have been on one Hell of a road trip. It was good but very tiring. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before that I am a big softie when it comes to all animals. Driving cross country has a tendency to depress me, I wince every time I see some poor animal that has come to a messy end on the side of the road. It was one of the reasons that I didn't learn to drive until fairly late in life. I cannot stand the thought of killing something, so long journeys give me the horrors. Everyone has told me that pheasants are stupid birds therefore they tend to end up dead with an alarming frequency on A roads. I think they are beautiful and if you make the parallel between beautiful birds (avian) and beautiful birds (human) stupidity may be the thing that links them?
I purchased my etching press today and it is a lovely bit of machinery. There's always a story so I might as well tell you.
I saw it on eBay for £745 which believe it or not is a good price. I arranged it all and this week I was going to buy it and pick it up. I phoned the guy yesterday to organise a time and get his address etc and he said it was £795. I argued the toss but he stood his ground and got shirty. (cheek). What he didn't realise that he was dealing with someone who is sick to death of people taking liberties, to put it politely. I was going to pay cash and he wasn't going to have to pay eBay their cut he was going to be quids in. Until...... I looked on eBay found the press and bought it via Paypal. Ha!!!! He had to pay eBay roughly £40. That will teach him to mess with me. If you are an eBayer you will fully appreciate what I did. Look out world I'm armed and dangerous.
Matt has been working away in my absence and bless him he read my blog and saw the screaming inadequacies that I had the audacity to post yesterday. He has finished the walls, he has planed the door, he has exposed the fascia and started to make it good. He has also sought out the materials necessary to finish the fascia. I've said it before and I'll say it again if you live near me and some of my readers do, Mr Matt Suttle is the man that can when it comes to the majority of all building work.
Rest assured I will give all brilliant workers a mention and a free ad both in my blog and on my website.
Tomorrow I will make good on my promise so please do bear with me.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

5 Counties in one day!!

Another day, another town. Today I've seen seals. Awesome! I've been in Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire, Warwickshire, Nottinghamshire and finally Northampton. Many hours in the car later. It's been great but tiring. A big thanks to our friends in the North for lovely food and company with a bunch of kids thrown in for good measure.
If you read my blog yesterday you will know that I'm on an etching press mission tomorrow. I'm excited.
I spoke to Matt earlier he has been hard at work in my absence. He's done the door I think and maybe the walls.It was difficult to hear properly as it was chucking it down and I was walking. He did say something about glass wall but I'm not sure. I should be back in time to make it down to the gallery tomorrow. So I'll fill you in properly then as I'm sure he'll have done a load more since I was there last.
I am looking forward to getting the ceiling up this week. I've got so many pictures to show you I might just write two lines tomorrow and give a totally visual blog. Please do watch this space.

Monday, 25 October 2010

It's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it!

Wow, yesterday was my first blog free day in 6 weeks. I partly blame Matt and Rozy for making me celebrate too much. Then I had a 6 hour drive to visit friends. Needless to say I was feeling feek and weable. But it's been lovely so no complaints. Gallery news, I'm finally going to buy my etching press. It's exciting and scary at the same time. Every time I make a big purchase and the zeros are more than two. My heart races and my palms get sweaty. I need to get used to it.
I'm not going to be at the gallery until Thursday as I'm paying a surprise visit to my sister. So Matt will be working on his own tomorrow so I've left him my iPod and crisps in the cupboard. I'm sure he'll be just fine.
I'm writing this on my phone so I'm going to keep it short. I forgot to tell you about James' visit on Friday. His work is looking great and when I'm writing this on a laptop I'll share them with you.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Would you like to come up and see my Etchings?

I apologise for the later than normal posting but I have been at college all day. You know I've mentioned before that some mornings are two coffee mornings before I can function fully, today it was three. I was not at all looking forward to going because my bed was SO warm. I have to ask, am I the only one who has to spend more time than they should deciding what to wear? In accordance to the weather. I spent the whole summer trying to stay dry and warm and I think the winter is going to be no different. I hear certain people saying 'layers' and I know that.
I'm very glad that I did get up and go as it was great. We did etching and aquatint and it rekindled my passion for etching. I will put the pictures up tomorrow. I loved it! I am  really looking forward to developing my ideas in the next lesson.
I am sat here trying to think if if there is even one tiny thing to tell you about the gallery. I really don't think there is. I didn't even have a delivery of anything for down there.
I have to spread the good news however, My Man That Can Matt, proposed to his lovely girlfriend Rozy last night and she said 'yes'. I'm so happy for them both as they are an excellent couple. Going out to celebrate their engagement tonight.
I hope all of your weekends are good so far and continue to be good tomorrow.

Friday, 22 October 2010

I Want to ride my Bicycle, I want to ride my Bike!

If you are half as nosey as me you will have wanted to know what my new bike looks like. So I thought I'd show you. I finally managed to put it together today without inflicting any further injuries on myself. I love it but the weather is bad today so I haven't ridden it to work. I have to adjust the brakes and gears. It's a repro retro bike. I'd have loved an original but as I have more sense than money I opted for the newby as it comes in at considerably less.
You all know that the gallery used to be a bike shop, well in a cupboard I have found the payload of reflectors and I am already thinking of how to customize my new bike. You already know about my love of accessorizing. Well my bike is no exception. Cool bling is where it's at.
I have spent today in avoidance of work. There are no jobs that I can do on my own at the gallery as I have finished them all. I need another pair of hands to finish everything else off. I did some token window scraping and moving stuff around and that's about all I have achieved today.
As you already know I like to confess to things that I do my blog has become my online conscience. If you've seen the video you will have seen that the toilet is at the back of my office and ....... I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I like to leave the door open and stare out into the gallery and watch people passing by. I don't really derive any pleasure from this, I just smile at the fact that I'm peeing whilst the world and his wife walk past. Obviously this is a short lived activity as I won't inflict it on anybody who happens to be at the gallery. I am however, starting to think that I am spending too much time on my own. I can't wait to have some company.
I am  all written out, not doing much does not help me to write. Quick note to self, do more then, it's not that difficult.
Folks it's Friday and you know that means the weekend is here and I hope you all have a good one. I'm at college tomorrow and I haven't done my homework. Not exactly setting the right example for an ex-lecturer. Oops!!

Thursday, 21 October 2010

I see an Object and I want it painted Black!

Today has been a day of many observations. That's what happens when you spend a lot of time on your own doing mundane jobs. (Mundane is my word of the week). I realized today that for the last 35 years give or take a couple my life has been structured around big changes in September. From Primary School moving up to a new year and that being repeated virtually every year until I was 24 in one way or another. Then there were the vacant years (approximately 2) where I drifted about directionless. In that post education fog that I found myself in. Then in a moment of inspiration I decided to learn to be Lecturer which began a further sixteen years of being dictated to by changes in September. Thinking about that I then realized that the whole gallery project was another September change as I got the keys on September 4th.   It does make me wonder what next September has in store for me as it seems to be a month for change and transformation.
My other less lengthy observation is that I have managed to work out exactly how many layers I need to wear in order to be warm in the gallery. 1 x Thermal Long Sleeve Vest, 2 x Long Sleeve Tops, 1 x Hoodie, 2 x Pairs of Jeans and 1 Beanie Hat.
I am hoping that when the ceiling is in and there's carpet and heating I'll be able to wear less. Oh, and the doors aren't open to let out the noxious paint fumes.
Having read all of that you are probably wondering why the obscure title? Well, it's what I've actually been doing today. I have been rejecting white in favour of black and it's made a nice change. But I do look like I've got the hands of a coal miner. My white keyboard is not being particularly forgiving either.
The good news is my thumb is on the mend. It's not swollen anymore and I can bend it a bit more today. I have made the executive decision not attempt my ceiling tiles solo, as I found out yesterday when I get up a ladder I discovered my 'inner girl'. People have been surprised when they see how much of the manual labour I've done myself and that does give me a sense of pride. Being up a ladder however, makes me feel clumsy, slightly hysterical and altogether like I'm out of my depth. I do not like it. I have these dark fantasies that involve me falling off the ladder and lying prone on the floor for hours, possibly days. Feebly crying for help whilst people just keep walking past. I'll be doing as little ladder climbing as possible in the future.
Neil, my website designer came by to show me my splash page for my website. It looks great, I am very pleased there are just a few tweaks needed and soon we'll be ready to rock and roll.
I'm knocking off early as I have nothing to do until all the wet paint dries.
I forgot to mention my friend another artist James, is going to come and see me tomorrow. He's a bit of a recluse so it's a real honour for him to step outside his front door let alone come across the water for a visit. I'm hoping that he will be bringing some of his work with him as it's been a while since I've seen any. I'll keep you posted. (That's a little Bloggers Joke)

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

I promised not to complain and so I'm not going to. Suffice to say that I spent the day doing something that I have grown to loathe. I'm going to leave it up to you to work out what that thing is.
I didn't get around to making my plinth as I nearly broke my thumb (luckily on my left hand) this morning. Gripping and prising things apart is out of the question. I sustained the afore mentioned injury trying to put my new bike together. I love it, but I dislike it at the moment. It's a bit like that family member that we all have, you know you have to love them because they're blood but.......
My battle with the electricity bored (sic) rumbles on. I have now had to write to the Ombudsman. Explaining the immoral behaviour of a particular supplier. I now have to wait up to twenty days for response. All the while I'm on the highest possible tariff. Thanks for that.
I am writing this from at the gallery in an attempt to get all of my chores done before I head home. I have become a computer BORE. I spend far too long in front of one trying to sort out the numerous hiccups that keep occurring with virtually everything that I touch. I know you are all thinking lucky me.
I'm guessing that my goggle eyed computer usage is partly to blame for the headache that I've had for three days now. Combine that with the 'oh so sweet' smell of gloss and Robert is that annoying relative.
Ceiling tiles arrive tomorrow so that means I can look forward to working with my hands above my head for the entire day.
I think that the ceiling is going to go a long way to making the gallery more presentable to look at.
I have agreed with the Landlord not grant my evil stepneighbour her wish. We are not going to frost the window and we are not going to keep it shut. Let's just see if she manages to turn me into a frog.
Well, I allotted myself twenty minutes to write this and my time is now up. Until tomorrow......

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

There's a Reason the Word Numbers Starts with the Word Numb!

All those numbers probably add up to what I have had to spend today.
Isn't it funny that when you have the least money to spend, you inevitably end up spending the most. Welcome to my world. I have been ordering up a storm today. I am now the new owner of eight boxes of ceiling tiles, four clear ceiling tiles and other rather mundane gallery related objects. On the plus side I have not had a paintbrush in my hand all day. I haven't managed my D.I.Y plinth build yet as I have had to do my personal admin today. Yes, a job that should have taken an hour at most has taken the best part of the day. I blame the maths. Thank God for my iPhone with it's handy converter app. Everything seems to be available in such a range of sizes, feet, millimetres, centimetres and inches. No two places I've used today used the same measurements. A brilliant amount of maths later and it is all ordered.
Another thing that I don't quite understand is why isn't VAT just added to everything? I want it there in the first place, I don't want to get to the checkout and have a mini seizure when hit with VAT and stupid amount of carriage. Apparently, all the people I need to buy stuff from love the idea of my petit mals. I should be opening a courier business as that totally seems to be where the money is at.
I am also happy to report that the gloss that wouldn't dry has now dried and looks great. The only thing I can think of is that the grease was so imbedded into the surface, that even after sugar soaping and sanding it still repelled the paint. I told you before that it was far too greasy.
I haven't been able to get hold of any of her pictures to put on here but Maria is a friend of mine who produces some fantastic work. If you're interested you can check out her website www.elegantroad.com I would definitely recommend you have a look. I am hoping to give her, her own show next year.
I finally get to see my website page thingy on Thursday. I'm very excited. You should be too. So, Im going to eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow I paint and build plinth!

Monday, 18 October 2010

Remember your a Womble!

Undercoat, overcoat painting is me! I did exactly what it said on the tin. I painted. That's all I'm going to say about that.
I have always been keen on the whole idea of recycling and I can't believe they haven't bought back The Wombles to help everyone of my generation to fully embrace the concept. I have had some kind donations of used but still useful equipment at the gallery. The drawers that I mentioned in my blog that I wrote earlier. I have also got an old Royal Mail letter sorting rack which I intend to use to store my printing ink in. Matt has made me a stable door out of a door that we had to replace with a fire door. He made new tops for my window plinths from leftover MDF that the previous owner left behind. It's safe to say that I am totally up for the whole recycling thing. Today, I was looking at the palettes that all my building supplies arrived on and I am convinced I can make something useful from them. Initially, I thought a cat house, bear with me my cats are currently squatting in the tortoise house and we live in dread that they might sit on Willy the tortoise. But I've had a rethink and I'm going to try and make a plinth out of them. That is my job for tomorrow.
I have also sent a strongly worded letter to my supposed electricity suppliers. I'm furious with them, it would seem that they only employ habitual liars. I cannot talk to them anymore. I have got to do some maths as it will involve measurements, I'm guessing that tomorrow will be a two coffee morning.
I feel that I can stop writing now as I already wrote a blog this morning. I will leave you with this fact. Thermal vests may not be sexy but they keep you warm!!

When you spend an hour washing your drawers you've got to wonder if you've got a problem. Just to diffuse the thoughts that are now running through your head, I have not been washing particularly dirty underwear. I was given two storage cabinets that have a ridiculous amount of little plastic drawers in. If any of you reading this are artists or crafts people you would love them. They will provide the perfect home for all those little bits and pieces that would just rattle around a normal size drawer. For those of you who are borderline O.C.D like me, they have slots for labels. Where does the washing come in? Well, they were very grubby having lived their former life in garage and I could not put anything quite so grimy in my new look, clean studio space.
I am now summoning up the energy to go down to the gallery. I have been up since 7.15 am and I have actually finished all my house chores so it is very nearly time to go and do my work chores.
I'm hoping to order my ceiling tiles today too.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

This Isn't the Sound of Silence!

I'm not sure about anyone else but I am definitely a happier person when I wake up of my own accord. Under my own steam. With no rude alarms, slamming of doors or any other sound that interrupts my much needed sleep. I am terminally grumpy when someone or something wakes me up before I'm ready. I'm betting you've already guessed that I was rudely awoken this morning by noise. I'm not sure exactly what or who made the noise but it woke me up. I was having this brilliant dream, that I could skate on this very cool but bizarre skateboard it only had one wheel and I was the absolutely fantastic on it. I may be going through some kind of mid life crisis as I just keep daydreaming about skateboards and getting a Chopper. My friend Tara thinks that this is the case.

I have digressed as I meant to tell you about what I did at the gallery. Much earlier than originally planned I went down to the gallery and did my chores. Pulled up the rest of the carpet and took a car load of stuff to the dump. It is so nearly there that when I walk in I can almost picture it finished.
I have to also tell you about my decision re- the whole window debacle. As I went into the studio today The sun was streaming through the window and glinting off the Fire Escape staircase. I thought to myself, yes, it is a rubbish view but it's my view. Windows that you can't see out of suck ass. Those are for criminals surely. I am now thinking that I may have to back track to save the view. If a petition appears on my blog I will be asking you all to sign. I am half joking, but I have come to feel rather fond of my view and I feel that I gave in way to easily to the foolish request to frost them. I hope that it causes a huge confrontation as I will also say that I intend to open the windows as often as I like.
I have a day of emails and painting ahead of me tomorrow but I am resolved not to complain any more about it.
That's about all I have to say today. Watch this space for further 'Operation Open Window' news.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

I Could Have Slept All Day!!

I have had a lazy day today, the picture says it all. Anyone who doesn't love their  bed at the weekend must be a little crazy. I managed to get out and do a bit of shopping. Got some great books for the gallery. I think there should be books that you just want to pick up and have a look at.
There isn't really any news on the gallery front, I had 100 disposable aprons delivered today. Which I have to admit I haven't even opened yet.
Tomorrow I am going to venture down to the gallery as I will have the use of a car that is much longer than my classic mini. This means that I will finally be able to get the 6ft florescent tubes down there and the 5ft skirting board. They have been living up my staircase for at least two weeks now.
If something goes in, something has got to go out. This means I will have to do a dump run tomorrow as have amassed quite a healthy looking pile of bin bags. So whilst you are doing all those relaxing Sunday activities think of me fetching and carrying and throwing stuff away.

Friday, 15 October 2010

Will You Hear My Confession?

I meant to go, I really did. Have you ever pulled a 'Sickie' when you've been perfectly ok? I'm sure at least one person reading this has done that. What I did today was kind of like that but as I'm the Boss I won't be giving myself a disciplinary. I might dock my imaginary pay though. I just needed a change of routine and to do something that used my brain in a more creative way, rather than painting one layer of paint over another.
I thought about all the other non painting related things I could do instead. Like have a bath, design my plinths and workbench, work on my marketing strategy, whilst staying clean and without a paintbrush in my hand. I'm afraid that is exactly what I have done today. I have worked out how to make my workbench multi functional and easy to move. I am hoping that I will be able to engage the help of some friends who are far better at woodwork/carpentry than be to help me make it. I also have looked at how to get my Blog out there to a wider audience. That's a job in itself. There have been books written about this, no, really! The amount of Web articles about it, is staggering I managed to read two before I realised that they both basically said the same thing. Ironically, I had already figured out some of the points raised and have been doing them anyway.
The other thing that I achieved today was writing an up to date 'List of Things To Do'. Needless to say there are several jobs that involve paint and there are several more that involve spending money. Another fun week at the gallery then. I have some fun jobs to do to break up the boredom though. A little carpet tugging, some plastic drawer cleaning, a bit of visiting the dump, with just a few hundred hours of painting.
Feel free to come join me any time you like.
I know I'm moaning, but the results are starting to look great. Those of you who watched the virtual tour could see that there are are now no remnants of the Bike Shop left. The end is in sight so I guess I'm just getting impatient. Thanks for the comments about my voice I still think it sounds strange but I've had it for 40 years so I can't go changing to try and please me!

Some Mornings are 2 Coffee Mornings!

There are days when you jump out of bed and start your day with energy and enthusiasm and then there's days like today. My bank text me at 8.20 am with a balance of my account, then at 8.21 with the balance on another account and then again at 8.23 telling me I have £4.27 in my account. I think well at least I'm not overdrawn. Three texts cannot make me get up. So I turn over and go back to sleep. I wake up an hour later thinking I really should get up. I turn over and go back to sleep. Half an hour later I decide that all this sleeping will not get the painting done. I get up and make a coffee and toast, which I take back to bed to eat and drink. Having finished that I realise that this morning is a two coffee morning. I need twice the amount of caffeine to get me up and at 'em.  Just incase you were wondering I'm typing this whilst lying in bed.
I'm wondering if on some subconscious level I am rebelling against spending another entire day with paintbrush in hand. I think having had a really creative day at college last weekend, the fact that I haven't done anything creative since is a bit depressing.
I am getting up and getting on. Off I go.

Thursday, 14 October 2010


I had no intention of writing three blogs in one day, but as I failed to formally recognize my fiftieth blog (this is my 54th blog). I feel that I should totally celebrate the fact that today for the first time ever I have had 100 page views. I am so happy because I had a couple of dodgy days where I only had 29 page views. I felt neglected and that I wasn't doing my job properly if people weren't reading it. It is surprising how much it has come to mean to me. I'm honored that anybody bothers to read anything I write let alone have 100 page views in one day. It fills me with confidence to carry on doing what I'm doing.
There is actually another bit of gallery news even at this late hour. Matt and I decided that we (read he) is going to create great sculptural display stands to put 3D works on. He's going to bring all his wood and tools and we (read he) are going to make display stands that will also be for sale. I love the idea and can't wait for him to finish all of his other jobs to come back and be creative at the gallery.
Thank you all so much for reading.

Virtual Tour with Dodgy Voice Over

I promised you earlier today a virtual tour of the gallery and here it is. For those of you who have actually visited the premises you will see the developments for the rest of you it is what it is.
I have had another day of painting and as much I would love to tell you the funny story that happened whilst I was doing it. No such event occurred. It was just sanding and painting all the way. Not even a phone call interrupted my flow today.
I lie, I did unscrew the malfunctioning strip lights in the windows and I filled all the gaps with wood filler. Now I bet you feel that you've got your moneys worth!
As learning curves go I feel that I am on a very curvy path of learning. I painted my work surface last Friday and it still wasn't dry today. I have no idea why not but needless to say I had to work out to fix it. Which involved sanding it all back, coating it in primer and starting again. This has kind of worked but it is obvious that I will have to give it another coat when it is dry if it ever does.
I have put the video on and I have been typing for at least 5 minutes and it still hasn't uploaded. I'm going to stop and have a shower and see if it has finished by the time I get out. That's the problem with technology it is fantastic in theory.
Shower time!
Back out and it is still saying uploading. My aim was to get this on nice and early to make the most of all you dinner time readers.
I'll just have to carry on waiting then. Still waiting!!
It seems to be there now, the proof will be in the viewing. I'm excited and dreading it at the same time as you will all hear my awful voice!
Let me know what you think.

Smile You're on Camera!

I feel I should publicize the fact that I have just shot a virtual tour of my gallery. I will upload it later as I haven't got the cable with me here at the gallery.
The weirdest thing is listening to your own voice on a recording. I sound like someone else, unfortunately someone I wouldn't like because of her annoying voice. When you've watched it let me know if you think that it sounds like me. (Directed at those of you who actually know me, obviously)
I'm not all sure about it. Good job I'm not famous not only would I hate to see myself on film now I realize that I would hate to hear myself too. I say that like I could be famous if I just tried harder.
I am laughing at myself as I type this as I am SO using my blog as a form of procrastination. I am trying delay the inevitable......PAINTING.
Enough is enough though. Please tune in later for my virtual tour and my terrible voice over. Go on you know you want to.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Is Painting the new Drinking?

As I predicted yesterday I would come in today to find two flies who spent their last seconds trying to tug all six of their legs out of wet paint. I was wrong there's only one. The other planned a last minute escape which succeeded obviously. I'm pleased about that as I really didn't like the thought of their deaths being my fault. Only one death on my conscience now.
In Swanage we have been enjoying an Indian Summer of sorts but today autumn is here with a vengeance. I am doing all admin stuff so I'm pleasing my inner sedentary self on one hand and freezing my backside off on the other. I may well be over the monotony of painting every single day but it does keep you warm.
There's a first time for everything! Today is the day, I am waiting for my friend Rob to show up so I'm going to attempt to post my blog early for a change. My first blog written on site at the gallery, I have noticed that the earlier that I put it on the more people read it. I know you might find it hard to believe but at the end of a day spent up a ladder or on my hands and knees sometimes, and I mean sometimes, writing my blog is the last thing I want to do. But as I am ever so slightly obsessive compulsive about virtually everything why should writing my blog be any different? I started it so I better just get on with it and quit moaning about it.
I don't know why I should spare you the boring details of how my morning was spent. I'm nice so I will. Needless to say it started with paint and it finished with paint and it was punctuated with phone calls. My window is now finished. There was a note to self moment, even if it seems bright DO NOT paint with the light off. You will regret it the next day when you see your patchy, shoddy and downright pathetic job!
I'm sure that's all I need to say.
My friend Rob came by today and he really liked the gallery space. He can see the potential and like me cannot wait to see it finished. He also bought me his professional images. They look fantastic. I will put some on tomorrow when I've had a chance to look through them properly. He also reaffirmed my decision to get the Hell out of my last job. 'The more things change, the more they stay the same' is the adage I'd like to quote right now. For those of you French speakers out there, we know that sounds much better in French right?
This afternoon, I was temporarily absent from work as I was entertaining. It's an absolute joy on some occasions being your own boss. But as you are all aware there are pros and cons. Destiny's Child sang it way more tunefully than I ever could. Bills, Bills, Bills!!!
I forgot to mention it yesterday but I had my first dirty/nuisance phone call (recorded on my answer machine) at the gallery on Monday night. A man rang up, breathed heavily for a few seconds and then grunted a bit then hung up. I found it hilarious, and then I started to think about it, I'm not advertised any where so was this guy phoning the Bike Shop and is that what floats his boat? We live in worrying times.
I feel that I should let you guess what I'm going to be doing at the gallery tomorrow. It's an 8 letter word that starts with P and ends with G and it isn't planting, prancing or plopping. If you can't get it then I'm going to take a stab in the dark that you haven't been reading too carefully.
My 'SO' sensor is working after a fashion, it's still appearing more than I'd like but what can you do about it?
I'm going to order my false ceiling tiles and I'm hoping Lisa will make an appearance again soon and help me to fit the ceiling.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Do Flies Go with that Paint?

Rob Marshall
Rob Marshall
I'm going to make this easy on myself by using this blog to introduce to other artists who I will be showing at the gallery. (Those of you who have been reading my blogs daily should know that I SO wanted to put the word SO at the start of this next sentence)
Starting with a good friend and very talented glass blower Rob Marshall. I hope you'll agree his work looks great. I am totally biased as one of my favourite things is blue glass. He's coming over to the gallery tomorrow to bring me some professional shots of his work. I'm really looking forward to it.

Claire Hincks
These elegant ceramic pieces are by Claire Hincks, she is currently studying for a Masters Degree in Ceramics but to be honest I can't imagine what they can teach her. She's been making gorgeous vessels for the last 15 years. I'm looking forward to seeing what she's been working on at the moment. 
I suppose you all want to know what I've been up to at the gallery today. Well, this morning I was running 'Sharon's C.V Clinic' and helping a friend pimp her C.V. Consequently, I think I might have few more clients lined up for C.V Pimpage. I then spent the rest of the day painting my newly revealed window. I have to say I think I'm a fairly patient person but today I was losing it for two different 
Claire Hincks
 reasons. The tedium of painting a vertical window frame with great big horizontal bars across it. Is beyond aggravating. Then there were the flies I mentioned yesterday. If you know me, you will know that I am soft, I will not kill another living thing if I can possibly help it. With one obvious exception 'WASPS' if it's them or me I'm afraid I will have to do everything in my power to obliterate the wasp. But, generally I try to keep everything I come into contact with alive. I'm a very talkative gardener as a result of this as I have to apologise to the numerous things I disturb while digging. I digress. Back to the flies I had the door and window open to try and encourage them to leave of their own accord which some did. Yay!! But then there were two, who were kamikaze flies who were on a mission to land in wet paint and then get stuck until I removed them and then they would fly back and get stuck again. I had to admit defeat and I know that tomorrow I will have to face two dead flies that I will have to prise off the newly dried window frame. R.I.P 
It's painting all the way for me tomorrow.  That and angry emails to several different electricity boards as the battle rumbles on.
I forgot to mention, when you open my blog there's something called Social Vibe that I've added. If you've got two or three minutes to spare you can for FREE raise $2.00 for my chosen charity which is Breast Cancer Awareness. I promise you it's FREE and it's for a really good cause. So (there it is) please take the time.

Monday, 11 October 2010

Are Mushrooms the New Banana Skins?

Another day, another phone call. My first thing to deal with is the fact that although I registered with three different electricity providers, I am yet to be registered with one of them. I think that is pure genius I've even had the documentation for Direct Debit instructions from one of them. A job for tomorrow. I know that this blog is about the Gallery but I feel the need to tell you about my last experience of the day completely not Gallery related at all. I went to buy some necessities cat food, bread, milk, mushrooms etc and I went to the local shop ( I'm not going to give them any free publicity as they over charge horrendously ). I picked up a punnet of mushrooms and a stray mushroom fell to the floor. I would normally have picked it up but it rolled right away. I carried on shopping and never gave it a second thought. I was at the self checkout and this young guy with both hands full, hits the deck. He lay prone on the floor and looked so put out that he was upright one minute and on the floor the next. I saw the squashed culprit on the floor, it was my runaway mushroom. The guilt that followed was swift and intense but what do you do? Go and apologise for dropping a mushroom? Go and help him up and feign ignorance? Or do you do as I actually did and proceed to scan my items as quickly as possible and hastily exit the shop. I am a coward, I admit it but I have no idea about 'mushroom droppage' etiquette. I will have to read up on it incase it ever happens again. Not likely.
Back to Gallery news, I spent the whole day down there and managed to get quite a lot done. I painted my work surface and my stable door. I also decided to try my hand at plastering as someone wiser and generally more handy than me, once said to me 'it's only daunting until you start'. He was right, it was easy and I think I did a fairly good job.
I'm a bit concerned that I might have a damp problem as when I went in today there was a lot of condensation. I'm going to have to investigate further. The other disturbing thing was the amount of flies that were in there. There's no food anywhere so that's another thing I'll have to investigate.
I managed to get some insurance today so that is a good thing and it didn't cost me any appendages.
Tomorrow, I am going start painting my new window and putting the finishing touches on my plastering I might even write my blog on site. Woo Hoo!

Sunday, 10 October 2010

P.S Seeing Double

I don't know why, but for some reason my blog has been double posting which is SO annoying I think that I've sorted it out now. I hope so because it makes my Homepage look very untidy and those who have been following since the beginning you will all know how much I hate mess.
If anyone is wondering I also find this image very wrong but surprisingly apt.

Pictures as Promised

Jellyfish (1) Monoprint

After struggling to write my blog yesterday in the dark, outside and with cold hands, (Do you like the fact that I painted a picture of hardship for you?, when in fact I was sat outside my local having a laugh and a joke with friends). I had to 'fess' up because someone, somewhere would have been wondering why was I having to write my blog in such an inhospitable environment. I feel that I am in the absolute lap of luxury in comparison today. I am in bed with my laptop looking at the sea when I'm not looking at my screen obviously.
Thank you for commenting those that did, I'm not sure why it's been made so difficult to comment and follow a blog. Surely, the more the merrier?
Writing this blog has been quite an interesting process as I only write it once, I don't draft it. The only thing I do is spell check it and even then some slip through teh net! ;) I know it's there but these things all make me smile.
After I've posted it I think of at least 10 things that I could have mentioned or a better way to have written something. Once it's posted it's done and best way too I think. Keeps it real.
The other thing I have noticed is my apparent love affair with the word 'SO'. I want to use it in virtually every sentence. As well as spellchecking I have to so check everything I write. My need to use it is SO annoying. I want to start sentences with it, break up sentences with it and finish sentences with it. What is my problem? I'm afraid that I've caught it from the television. I have a horrible feeling that it might be infectious SO be careful!
Okay, I started with one of my prints that I produced yesterday, yes it's quite abstract but the idea was to push the technique. Which I feel I did. I now have an insatiable hunger for printmaking. I cannot wait to set  up the workshop and start to experiment some more.

Jellyfish (2) Monoprint

Here's another one, we had to think about just creating images and I have always been inspired by underwater and this technique just seemed to lend itself to it. I am definitely going to explore it further using colour.
It is going to be a busy week at the Gallery as I think my hand is finally behaving itself so all the jobs that I was unable to get done last week I can get on with this week.
I am hoping to get the the studio finished so that I can get going with developing my workshops.
I would like to thank you all for reading as I am just about to hit 2,000 page views and I've been going a month so far. It's not many compared some blogs. But if you like reading it why not copy and paste the link onto your Facebook page and other people you know, (maybe some artists?) might want to read it or get in  touch.

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Becoming a gallery owner: Appreciate my commitment even without a witty pict...

Becoming a gallery owner: Appreciate my commitment even without a witty pict...: "I'm writing this from the comfort of an outdoor heater. Today was the first day of my course. It was a bit weird as I was more qualified tha..."

Appreciate my commitment even without a witty picture!

I'm writing this from the comfort of an outdoor heater. Today was the first day of my course. It was a bit weird as I was more qualified than the tutor. Was a little uncomfortable for the first bit but once I relaxed and she realised I wasn't a threat. We had a great day doing experimental printmaking. I had an absolute ball. It was great, we got on and made beautiful prints. There are pictures which I'll upload tomorrow.
Gallery news is a bit thin on the ground as my day was spent reconnecting with my inner printmaker. I learnt a few things that have given me confidence that I'm doing the right thing. There's a definite need for a workshop this side of the water. Also that people repeat attenders which is brilliant. They live near me so I will be a lot closer than Bournemouth. So happy times. The people on the course were all cool and I do like the smell of White spirit in the morning. I received bills at the gallery, my phone bill for a phone which I've had for two weeks and apparently has already cost me £90. I'm a little bit worried by that. I am now the proud owner of a door chime and three smoke detectors. Brilliant for me and safe for my future clients. As I'm typing this on my phone I'm going to keep it short. Tomorrow will be the great unveiling of my first prints in months. I hope you will like them. Until tomorrow. Please test out the comment gadget because I just need to know if it works. Thank you!

Friday, 8 October 2010

Becoming a gallery owner: Is Anybody Else Awake?

Becoming a gallery owner: Is Anybody Else Awake?: "I should be asleep but I'm not, however, my insomnia has allowed me to figure out how to do something to make it easier for you to comment...."

Is Anybody Else Awake?

I should be asleep but I'm not, however, my insomnia has allowed me to figure out how to do something to make it easier for you to comment. Please can you try it out on my next blog just so that I know it works? I'm looking into a way of an easier way for people to follow me without signing up for any account. The picture is called 'Nightmare' but I don't really think it's particularly scary.
I've always wondered what other people do when they can't sleep. I seem to try and problem solve or worry. I've opted for problem solving this evening as I have to go to school tomorrow so actually need some sleep.
I shall say goodnight but it's technically morning. Have a good day today!! I'm hoping to, hand permitting.

Becoming a gallery owner: These Things Take Time - Thanks Morrissey

Becoming a gallery owner: These Things Take Time - Thanks Morrissey: "The first thing I should tell you is that my hand is on the mend. The pain has all but subsided just the occasional twinge. I'm still not g..."

Becoming a gallery owner: Help Me Please, I'm Having a Bad Hand Day!!

Becoming a gallery owner: Help Me Please, I'm Having a Bad Hand Day!!: "Thwarted!!! I went to the gallery full of good intentions today. I unpacked by new kettle and got changed into my work clothes. Expecting ..."

Help Me Please, I'm Having a Bad Hand Day!!

Thwarted!!! I went to the gallery full of good intentions today. I unpacked by new kettle and got changed into my work clothes. Expecting to spend the day doing my 'gallery chores'. With scraper in hand I decided to tackle the gaffer tape that is all over the gallery as the previous owner, who shall remain nameless so let's call him Numpty for the purposes of this blog. Numpty thought Blue Tack was passe so a far more permanent and ultimately annoying way to put up posters, memos, calendars, post it notes, (yes you read that right) was gaffer tape. Combine this with a serious addiction to drilling holes you've got to wonder what a trick cyclist would make of it. Subsequently, I have had to do some serious scraping. I had one more door to tackle my lovely stable door that Matt made me. I was fine for about 20 minutes before a familiar twinge set in. I couldn't believe it! I persevered until I'd finished but decided that I'd already done too much. I start a course tomorrow and it is fairly crucial that I am able to hold a pencil as it is an art course. I reluctantly had put down tools and have come home again.

It is with frustration that I am at home writing my blog early with very little to report. The good news is that my recently holidaying brain has returned with a vengeance, slightly tanned and very relaxed. I am going to get to grips with my artists pictures and put them up.

I think I'm going to need to get my hand looked at, I might need some super sexy wrist support. If I get my eyes tested to maybe I could score a double whammy with flesh tone wrist support and some National Health glasses. If I bought some Clarks shoes I could become the adult version of the kid that was always bullied at school. You could add a certain fragrance to that to complete the picture. You knew the kid, you pick the fragrance. See 'Cool Kid' Accessories. Could have put a picture of a 'Snot Bubble' but I'm guessing that none of you will have trouble recalling that particular nicety.

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want!

I wanted to wow you with four more artists work today. Apparently my memory stick has other ideas. I'm working on the problem but I am suffering from the above today. I spent the night engaging in pointless anxiety thoughts which managed to wile away the hours when I should have been asleep. This has now resulted in a 'Brain Vacation' today. I have struggled to concentrate on even the most basic of tasks. I drove to Bournemouth today and at least 6 times during that short drive I thought to myself 'I'm not really paying attention' how worrying is that?
Not only is my head just about to put 'For Rent' signs up but my eyes are so tired I look like I've been over indulging in illicit substances.
On a brighter note I got my haircut today which required absolutely no thought on my behalf. Ross @ Maximum in Boscombe did a great job. Cut a cool pattern in my hair. Something I've always thought I might like but never done. If I could take a half way decent picture of myself I'd show you.

Gallery news, I have started to get a few more responses from my artist friends. Phew! The supremely skilled Rob Marshall is coming over next week. I cannot wait to show you his work. He's a glass artist and makes objects of beauty. He's bringing me pictures next week so you'll get to see them. For some reason I do not fully understand my blog wont let me put this in a sensible place.  having just looked at a preview it doesn't actually look too bad. Here is my finished logo design. I love it. For those of you in the know you might recognise the cogs and wheel as belonging to an etching press. It's my actual writing, I had to write it several times before I did one that worked. A very big thank you to Neil@Deshok. I cannot recommend him highly enough if you need this kind of work done. Or absolutely anything Website, he's your man.
I'm going to try and resolve my memory stick issue and if my errant brain decides to come back in the next couple of hours, I will endeavour to introduce you to some more very talented peoples work.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Introducing the talented........

           Charlotte Blake
          Paul Watts
Dave Field

Milo Newman

All I'm going to say is that if Blogspot incorporated some Mac technology putting these pictures on my blog would have been so much easier. Here are just four of the artists that will be exhibiting at the gallery. There are many more but you must remember they are artists and my frequent requests for images is always met with 'I'll get on the case, and email you tomorrow'. This means that they will get to me eventually but you know the Elvis song 'Tomorrow Never Comes' well I believe that was prophetic.
I should clarify that although Charlottes work looks 2D it is actually 3D. It's quirky and I think it's funny too. She works in ceramics and the images are applied by transfers that she makes herself. Paul is an illustrator who combines a variety of techniques to produce his unique images. Dave is also an illustrator who integrates his love of drawing with keen eye for graphic detail.
Milo travels extensively and produces photographs that have a poetic beauty. I'm hoping to give him a one man show next year. His new project sounds like it's going to have multi sensory appeal so I'm very excited about that.
You wouldn't know this unless I told you but this blog has taken 3 hours to write. I had to go and take collection of a job lot of glass bricks at the gallery. I can't wait for the wall to be finished. That was as much as I achieved at the gallery today. But I have been busy online finding out about getting a license to show films. It's not too expensive about £100 a year so I think I'm going to get one. So if you live locally and like foreign film or Arthouse film and more importantly want to help to support various charities. I intend to run intimate screenings for free but everyone will have to donate a bit of cash to charity. I will support any worthy causes and will also be up for anyone suggesting some.
I will feature another four artists tomorrow. I hope that you have liked what you have seen so far.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

These Things Take Time - Thanks Morrissey

The first thing I should tell you is that my hand is on the mend. The pain has all but subsided just the occasional twinge. I'm still not going to go crazy at the gallery until the twinge is no more. So for the next few days I'm going to make like a snail and take it slow and steady.
I am at a loss as not only is my right hand not fully functioning but my right hand man has left me too. He's working else where for the next few weeks. There is now a natural break in proceedings which will give me some time to focus on the admin side.
I was at the gallery for 7 whole minutes today. Admittedly, there is very little I can do with my troublesome phalanges. I worked from home and managed to complete a few jobs that I'd started and managed to cook a rather delicious curry.
If you've been following my blog you will know that me and numbers are not a match made in heaven. I struggle at best and at worst I just make it up. But, as I'm going to be ordering my sign(s) I need to be as accurate as possible. Eeeek!!!!
I made another discovery yesterday, I definitely prefer to be doing manual labour as opposed to sedentary computer squatting! I had work envy yesterday as Matt worked, I tapped away on my laptop getting colder by the minute. Whilst, Matt stripped off due to over heating.
No-one commented about who was the most deserving recipient of the 'End of Work Pint' but I'm guessing the silent majority all voted Matt over me.
I'm going to be collating the images of the artists work that I intend to feature tomorrow. My plan is to create a very visual blog to give you all a taste of what will be going into L'Artishe Gallery.
Apparently, according to my Horrorscope (sic) which I don't really believe but can't help reading anyway, I know I'm not the only one who does that. It said that I should start writing my own book instead of reading other peoples. As if I haven't got enough to do already. Oh, a holiday romance is also on the horizon. I have romantic notions of holidays and sunshine does that count?
Admin, Admin, Admin is what I'm going to be doing tomorrow so if I am uninspired in my blog writing please forgive me.

Monday, 4 October 2010

It was a day of two halves!

It's true! Even if your hand has given up the ghost and all manual labour is out of the window.....it is up to you to use your time productively. So here's a breakdown of what I did today and what Matt did today. You can make up your own minds as to who deserved a pint at the end of the day.
Me: Overslept until 9.15
Matt: Rudely awaken at 8.10 by Travis Perkins
Me: Contemplated getting up for at least 10 minutes
Matt: Told he needed to be at the gallery in 10 minutes to take delivery of 32 sheets of plaster board and 70ish bits of big skinny wood. I hope you will all appreciate that I used the correct technical terms.
Me: Flex my hand several times to test how much it hurts.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Text Matt to find out if delivery has arrived and make coffee and have breakfast.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Have a shower and make the foolish decision to wash my hair with my faulty hand. Big mistake. As I can't dry it as I can't hold hairdryer or brush.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Reply to Matts text saying I'll be there v. soon.
Matt: Hefts 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood.
Me: Pick up wrong screws, swap for right screws, feel guilty because Matt has hefted 32 sheets of plaster board from the other side of road to the gallery along with 70ish bits of big skinny wood, before I'd even left the house.
Matt: Waits for me and probably does several jobs that I don't even realise while I swap the screws.
Me: Get back and moan about my cack hand whilst Matt works.
Matt: Smiles politely and carries on working.
Me: Set up broadband!! Hurray, it's so simple when you READ THE BLOODY INSTRUCTIONS!!!!
Matt: Humours me when I do the Victory Dance
Me: Go out and buy Guilt Appeasers for Matt in the shape of Quavers, Iced Fingers, Coffee and Coke.
Matt: Willingly receives my gifts.
Me: Spent too long on the Internet, buy wrong drill bit then go back and get the right drill bit that was very expensive. :(
Matt: Works really hard ad infinitum!
Me: Fill my time drawing glasses into the whited out windows.
Now you have heard the two outcomes who do you think deserved the reward of a pint at the end of the day?

Sunday, 3 October 2010

All Pain, No Gain

I have hurt myself!!! I'm not exactly sure how but today I can hardly move my right hand. It sucks. As I am now one finger typing this it will be a short blog. I have managed to achieve very little today. I couldn't even cut my own roast potato on my roast dinner. I was reminded that it was a taste of things to come as I am getting old. I'm frowning as I write this. I am hoping that tomorrow my hand improves so that I will be able to do something other than hang my hand uselessly by my side. I'm self medicating and it should make the evening a little more interesting.
This is my one finger signing off. I know you love all of my little known facts. I am more prone to spelling mistakes when typing with one finger. If I was lazier this would have been a far funnier read as I've misspelt every second word. Dho!!!

Saturday, 2 October 2010

Dusty Springclean has left the building!

This is a request. As Patrick Stewart says in Star Trek ' Make it so '. It is so incredibly dusty at the gallery that the dust mites are o.ding and have set up rehab units in every corner. Are you getting the picture yet? It is dust o'clock at L'Artishe Gallery and Studio. I went in there today to start the big clean up after the magnificent floor laying of yesterday. Everything had at least 2mm of dust on it. So I donned my super sexy dust mask. I would put a picture of me wearing it on here but I don't want anyone to get over stimulated, by the vision in dirty jeans and an oversized filthy t-shirt that was me. I'm sorry I've already said too much.
I wiped and I swept and I swept and I wiped. That's about the sum total of my I did at the gallery today. That's not to say that it didn't look a hundred times better when I'd finished because it did.

In order not to incriminate anybody all I'm going to say is ' That'll take 5 minutes ' is another one of lifes' big fat lies. Unless you've done the exact same job before, in the same place, on the same day, for the same person when the planets are aligned in the same way can you make such a statement. I also know about the  Jamaican ' Soon Come ' and the Swanage ' Minute ' and a teenagers ' I'll be there in 5 ' these are all ways of distracting us from the truth.  You cannot accurately guess the time any given job will take you, so err on the side of exaggeration. If you think it could take you 5 minutes say it will take you 15 minutes then at least everyone's happy if you beat your estimated deadline. Here endeth the lesson for today.

I'm not setting foot in the gallery tomorrow, I'm waiting for the dust to settle. I'm not going back until Monday when I'm hoping Travis Perkins have extricated a certain part of their anatomy from another part of their anatomy and deliver the goods I've already paid for. I hope so because Matt will be able to start the walls and I'll start ' The Battle of the Broadband ' and other severely irritating jobs. So enjoy the rest of your evening, or day depending on when you read this.

Friday, 1 October 2010

When is a Bike Shop not a Bike Shop? When it's a Gallery!

The first thing you should know is that I'm over doing todays blog already! The format has changed and putting pictures on is painful. Whinge, moan, whinge, moan! The first picture is of my newly laminated office. It was a team effort, Matt provided the brains, Lisa and myself provided the wiggle. Between us we laid the floor. Wiggling is a technical term when laminating.
It took us 5 hours and we only made a few major blunders. I am now fairly convinced that the person who put down my poorly laid laminate floor, at home, needs some further tuition. A great big thanks to Matt and Lisa for working through their shattiness to achieve a beautiful finished floor.
I told you about my friendly neighbour who wanted to make ' a drama out of a staircase'. You will now need to know what happened next in ' Windowenders'  Not only do I have to frost the windows but I am not 'allowed' to open the window, because of the noise.
What NOISE?? I grant you we are making a Hell of a racket at the moment because we are renovating the space but when we are done, I'll be keeping the raving to the bare minimum. Tha' lady she loco loco!!
Someone should tell her that I am well known for my rebellious streak and if you say I can't, I blatantly will. Bring it on!
The other picture is of the front of MY gallery. Look, no sign. It's official, it's a gallery not a bike shop.
The walls are going up on Monday so I need to get on a get the ceiling ordered. I am so ahead of schedule that it is looking likely that I will be open before Christmas. I'm very excited about that. So all the artists who keep promising to get me pictures of their work to me...........Now is the time.
I'm going to be at the gallery tomorrow I'll be clearing the decks, ready for Matt to get started on Monday.
I'm sorry if my blog has been short on laughs today but I'm shattered and my funny bone is bruised and won't work properly!
Until tomorrow.......