This is a request. As Patrick Stewart says in Star Trek ' Make it so '. It is so incredibly dusty at the gallery that the dust mites are o.ding and have set up rehab units in every corner. Are you getting the picture yet? It is dust o'clock at L'Artishe Gallery and Studio. I went in there today to start the big clean up after the magnificent floor laying of yesterday. Everything had at least 2mm of dust on it. So I donned my super sexy dust mask. I would put a picture of me wearing it on here but I don't want anyone to get over stimulated, by the vision in dirty jeans and an oversized filthy t-shirt that was me. I'm sorry I've already said too much.
I wiped and I swept and I swept and I wiped. That's about the sum total of my I did at the gallery today. That's not to say that it didn't look a hundred times better when I'd finished because it did.
In order not to incriminate anybody all I'm going to say is ' That'll take 5 minutes ' is another one of lifes' big fat lies. Unless you've done the exact same job before, in the same place, on the same day, for the same person when the planets are aligned in the same way can you make such a statement. I also know about the Jamaican ' Soon Come ' and the Swanage ' Minute ' and a teenagers ' I'll be there in 5 ' these are all ways of distracting us from the truth. You cannot accurately guess the time any given job will take you, so err on the side of exaggeration. If you think it could take you 5 minutes say it will take you 15 minutes then at least everyone's happy if you beat your estimated deadline. Here endeth the lesson for today.
I'm not setting foot in the gallery tomorrow, I'm waiting for the dust to settle. I'm not going back until Monday when I'm hoping Travis Perkins have extricated a certain part of their anatomy from another part of their anatomy and deliver the goods I've already paid for. I hope so because Matt will be able to start the walls and I'll start ' The Battle of the Broadband ' and other severely irritating jobs. So enjoy the rest of your evening, or day depending on when you read this.